I was raised in California. My dad had been a highly decorated military officer. My mom worked in aerospace. Then my dad went to work as a civil servant. I have one sister who is eight years older than I am so it was like I was raised as an only child. 

Later in life, I applied for the FBI, and they rejected me because they said I had a rogue personality and I was not a team player. That was from not having other kids around the house. I was kind of a latchkey kid because both my parents worked. Unfortunately, my dad did struggle with substance abuse. My mom, I would consider her a first or second generation feminist. They were Catholic in name, but we certainly didn’t go to Mass as a family. I don’t think we ever recited the Rosary together. Christmas-Easter Catholics.

Growing up outside of Hollywood, I was enamored by that industry. I was consumed by all the trappings that come with that Hollywood glamour. Most of my adult life, I lived a very decadent life. I was married briefly. I would say now in retrospect that that marriage did not work out because I was incredibly selfish and self-centered and I didn’t know the first thing about being a man or a father or a husband. I had no tools and didn’t know how to go about doing that. 

My dad lived with me. Otherwise he was going to be in a convalescent home. My father would recite the Rosary every day. That impressed me. Every night, no matter how he felt, he was on his knees praying which also impressed me. My dad died about a decade ago. I was holding his hand the night he died, and his last words were, “Wow, wow, wow.”

I told myself, “I want to go out like that.” 

It wasn’t like I immediately returned to the faith. It was a process, but when I did return to the faith, I did what I like to refer to as a soul-contract with the Lord. I told Jesus that I would remain chaste the rest of my life, no more porn, no more strippers, no more partying with pornstars in LA, none of that stuff that I used to do. I would walk the walk until I met my future wife.

Much to everybody’s shock, I lived a chaste life for over seven years. The first year was really tough, but then after that it wasn’t as difficult. 

Then I did meet a gal. I went back to school in my fifties to get a Master’s Degree, and I met a gal that I was really interested in who was an academic. I entered into an inappropriate relationship. She was not Catholic. I justified it in my mind because we told ourselves that we were going to get married. I would tell the clergy, “Well, we’re engaged. We’re going to get married.” I was skirting the truth, but that relationship inevitably failed. I felt that I let down the Lord. I felt that I did not live up to my soul-contract. 

Since then, I met this old woman through a friend of a friend in Arizona. Her name is Rose. She is one of the confirmed miracles for the canonization for Padre Pio. She used to live in Little Italy in New York City. Back in the 60s through the 70s, she was like some sort of Catholic celebrity in her community. Whenever dignitaries would come through, they would bring her relics. I met her at Walmart of all places, and she invited me to her home which is one amazing reliquary. It’s like something you would see in Europe, all twelve apostles, Mary Magdalene, a piece of the original crucifix. This place is incredible, and it’s in a nondescript home in Arizona. 

She told me about Medjugorje. I didn’t know anything about Medjugorje. She planted the seed. Then I saw this guy last year on television, a French author who wrote this book called Revelations. In his book he says, “If you wish you could go back in time and be at Fatima, then you need to get on a plane and go to Medjugorje, Herzegovina.” That was it. I’m like, “I have to do this.”

I went on Google. I did a search “Medjugorje tour Arizona.” The first one that came up was Magnificat. I paid for the tour before I knew that I would be staying at the home of a visionary, before I knew that I would be there during an apparition. 

The week that I paid the deposit, my pastor approached me and said, “Rob, would you like to be a Eucharistic minister?”

The second thing that happened about two weeks later, the gal that I was casually dating at the time, not a Catholic, she ended the relationship. I think this was like God cleaning my house preparing me for this trip. 

It’s been nothing short of spectacular. I know people say it’s like miracles at every corner. The first day in Medjugorje, I wanted to be by myself. I didn’t want to be with anybody else. I didn’t know the schedule. I didn’t have an itinerary. I just started wandering around. Right around 5 o’clock, I see the church and I think, “I’m going to go in there.” I see the Croatian people praying the Rosary and I was thunderstruck. Immediately, I said to myself, “This is the way it’s supposed to be.”

In my opinion, Medjugorje is the spiritual epicenter for the Catholic faith on the planet. Where the Vatican is the administrative headquarters, Medjugorje is the spiritual headquarters. 

The last week, I’ve met people that I’m going to have life-long relationships with, maybe life-changing relationships. 

There have been some nights I’m so excited, and so exhilarated for the next day, I can’t sleep! I’m like a little kid on Christmas morning. But the nights I have slept deeply, I’ve had profound dreams that have given me clarity in my life and my direction and why I’m here. 

Why do we exist? What is this life about? What is my purpose? I feel like I’m coming away with new direction and more clarity in what’s left for me. I’m not a young guy, but I feel like I still have a third to 25% of my life ahead of me still. It’s God’s will, but I still think I’ve got some time. I just want to do the right thing. I want to walk the path. I got more clarity about what I’m supposed to be doing in this life.

Before I returned to the Catholic faith, I had my own doubts about Mary. Now, I’ll put it like this, I have never seen Jesus, in a dream or a locution. I’m not worthy to look at Him, but Mary is approachable, His Mother is approachable. I could go to Mary. 

I’ll give you an example. Since coming back to the faith, I’ve had a trip to Vegas with some of my old buddies. I get to Vegas and my old friends from California are like, “Rob, we’ve got to go to this casino. Meet us at this strip bar. We’ve got to do this and that.” I go to Vegas and I bring a couple of votive candles with me! I go in my hotel room and I light the votive candles and I set up this little portable crucifix. I’m like, “Mary, I need your help! I’m a weak man. I’m going to fall if I don’t have you.”

It’s the craziest thing because I prayed to Mary, and I know She intervened on my behalf because I wasn’t put in an uncomfortable situation where I felt like, “Oh no, I’m going to partake.” I wasn’t even put in those situations. There were circumstances outside of my control that prevented me from being in those situations.