My dad is a deacon in Des Moines, Iowa. Even though I didn’t live with him when I was younger, he always shared his faith with me. My dad was never the person to share all the rules, but he would just share his faith and what he knew from his stories. 

My relationship with the Mother has always been really strong because it was really strong with my dad. My dad has had a devotion to Our Lady of Lourdes since he was a young boy. In fact, he went to Our Lady of Lourdes school and church when he was younger, and he has gifts. When he was just a young kid, he knew that he was going to adopt me. He knew it was going to be a baby girl from Columbia and that he was going to name her Bernadette. 

Through his example, that’s how I came to love Our Mother. 

He received a rosary from Medjugorje that turned gold in his hands. I had always heard of stories like that from the time I was young. When you grow up with that and those kinds of examples, there’s no other way but to live your life with faith.

I was adopted from Columbia. Shortly after I was adopted, my dad and my first mom got a divorce. 

Through my childhood I lived with a mother who always had a different guy in the house. I was sexually abused as a young girl. My brother was also sexually abused from her fourth husband. The toughest time of my life was probably from the time I was a baby up until fifth grade.

I remember, my parents and I went on a pilgrimage to Golden, Colorado to ask Our Mother if she would grant me the grace to let me live with my dad.

Finally, after that pilgrimage, we went and sat on a park bench. I was just about ready to go into fifth grade. I had my dad on one side and my first mom on the other side, and I just said, “Mom, I’m not coming back.”

She said, “Okay.” She had never said that before, out of all the times I had asked. 

From then on, I got to go to Catholic schools and go to church more often. I got my Confirmation. That’s the journey. That’s how I’ve gotten to be who I am. I wouldn’t trade it because I learned a lot. I appreciate Our Mother and our faith and the Lord so much more because I know what it’s like to be without it.

When I wasn’t with my dad and I wasn’t going to Mass, it felt off. Once I got to live with him and got to make that a weekly routine and really have that faith be a part of every day, it made all the difference. 

I knew I had been missing something. I don’t know if I would have been able to put into words at that age that it was the faith, but I knew that it felt like home. 

That’s what I love about our Catholic faith now. We’re halfway across the world, and it doesn’t matter if the Mass is in English or Croatian, it’s still home. 

I never thought that I would be here in Medjugorje in a million years. Now that I have a passport, I’m here. I’m celebrating with such wonderful people. 

This trip is exactly what I’ve wanted it to be: prayerful, reflective, close to Our Lord, close to Our Mother.

I was having anxiety the night before yesterday, like I was missing something, and I wasn’t sure what it was. I was talking to my dad, crying on the phone. I fell asleep with my rosary in my hand. 

I had prayed to Our Mother, “Mother, if there is something that I’m supposed to see or supposed to be a part of, show me the way.”

As soon as I walk out of our place, I go up the street ten feet, and I see a pilgrimage group that I had seen on the plane. They were praying the Rosary. I got to go and join them for the Rosary, and then I got to lead them in song. 

What gets me through the dark times is music and sacred music. I sing a lot for our church. The reason why I love that is because it’s prayer. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I think that Mother loves prayer through music. 

That uplifts me. It keeps me going. You have to have some kind of prayer life in order to get through this world. I feel like my mission is to be light and love for others. That’s what I try to do. Next week I could take a dip. What gets me back there is prayer. 

I went to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet. I’ve had a really big devotion to Divine Mercy since the beginning of this year, saying my chaplet with the Marians of the Immaculate Conception. I say my chaplet live with them every day on YouTube. As I’m saying my chaplet, I finish and then I walk just around the corner and there’s this beautiful building with a blue cross and a statue of Mary. 

I told Mary, “I don’t need a sign because I have faith. I’m good, but if you want to send one, I’m not going to say no.”

I walk into this beautiful chapel with an altar and there is a picture of St. Bernadette and Our Lady of Lourdes right there. I’m named after St. Bernadette. It was a pretty amazing experience. 

Everyone should come here if they have an opportunity to. Everyone can receive grace. You might not realize it right away, but eventually you will. 

Listen to Bernadette singing in Medjugorje for Our Lady: https://youtu.be/wDh7t9Akf-A