As a kid, I enjoyed serving Mass. In college, I was not big into the faith. I was in a fraternity house, Alpha Tau Omega. I really got away from the faith. I wasn’t going to church. I was not not living a very good life and just partying. 

Then somewhere around my fourth year, I had a roommate who was very much a faith-filled man, glowed with the face. I thought, “Man, this is something I want. I want that. I don’t feel like I have that.” 

Then there was the Antioch retreat. It’s for college students. It’s Catholic. There’s Eucharist, there’s reconciliation, there’s talks, there’s times for relaxing and fun. I went with another 20 college students from Iowa State University. A lot of them came from the Newman Center. With that, my faith started to enlighten. 

Then I graduated from college. I went to work for an insurance company. That didn’t really work out very well. Then I’m thinking eventually I’m going to get into seminary. I know this, but I don’t know when.

In the meantime, I met a really wonderful young gal, part of a Bible study group. We were dating, and I really enjoyed her company. But this idea of the priesthood was still there. 

I needed to work for a little while because I had to pay off some bills—Domino’s Pizza and Bakers Square—just working odd jobs, trying to pay my bills.

I had a business degree in international studies. There weren’t really a lot of jobs opening in 1985. So anyway, I did these things for about a year or two, and then I end up having to break off the relationship. I went into the seminary. At the end, I thought, “I don’t know. Maybe God’s calling me somewhere else.” 

My name was on the Diaconate ordination list with six other guys. And I just left.

I left the seminary, dated a gal for a while, and worked in a parish up in northeast Iowa as a lay minister, youth minister. After a year I realized what the demands were for ministry. I wasn’t doing justice to this relationship, and I ended up breaking it off. 

I vacillated, I did, I’ll admit it. I felt bad for the couple of women that were involved there. I was fighting this call. There was a great part of me that wanted to be married and have kids. I wanted to have oodles of kids. I would have had ten kids. But then there was this other part of me that was like, “Dang, I think this is where the Lord wants me.”

There was a new bishop of the diocese of Des Moines. He called me and said, “The door is open for you to come back if you ever wanted to.” I told my mom. She was a little skeptical, but she said, “You’re not going to leave again, are you?” 

I said, “No, I’m going through with it this time.” 

In January of 1996, I made a call to Bishop Sharon and I said, “I think I’m ready to make the leap.” I had this sense that I was ready. I had this sense inside me that it was time, time to go for it.

So I did. Twenty seven years later, here I am. 

I was ordained a priest in June of 1997. I went through with it, got ordained, and it’s been 27 great years.

It’s funny because after I was ordained a deacon, my mother said to me, “You know, your grandmother died about two weeks after you were born, and she said, ‘I’m not going to get to see this little boy grow, but someday he’s going to be a priest.’” I had never heard that story until after I was ordained a deacon. She waited that long to tell me. I don’t know how the heck she did it. She didn’t want to pressure me. 

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A gentleman from Sacred Heart talked about Medjugorje, and he asked me, “Father, have you ever been to Medjugorje?”

I said, “No, no, no.” I didn’t really think too much of it back then. Yeah, I heard a lot of things about it, but I was like, “Hmm, I don’t know.” 

So I’m a priest, been ordained maybe 18 years. I have a seminarian with me. We just got done with a hospital call. We stopped to get something to eat. A couple sat down next to me, Jim and Deb, and they started talking about Medjugorje. She said, “If you really want to go, we’ll make it possible.” And I thought, “Wow.” I said, “Yeah, maybe this is the time to go.”

Ellen Miller, who’s been going to Medjugorje quite a few years, was my youth minister, a member of the parish and did work with Mary’s Meals. She was leading a pilgrimage with Marilyn Lane so I got connected with that. 

I came in 2016. It was a good one. It was a smaller group, and we experienced many of the things that I experienced this time—going to daily Mass, prayer time, confessions, really powerful times. 

One thing I had when I came away from here the first time was a sense of peace. It was a peaceful place here. I felt like I had it the whole time I was here. Ten days. I just really had that sense of peace.

I was scheduled to take a group to Israel last summer. Then the war broke out, so that pretty much put the kibosh on that.

Probably within a week or two, I got an email from Marilyn. She says, “Would you like to go to Medjugorje?” I thought, “Gosh, I haven’t been there in eight years so maybe it’s time. Maybe this is a sign from God. One door closed, another door is opening.” So I said yes. 

I was really excited up until about two weeks before the trip. I don’t know what it was, but there were just lots of attacks, spiritual attacks. I was in a car accident the week before the trip. My neck and my back and I’m thinking, “Oh, gosh, I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to do this.” Then throughout the week, there was news that was not so good in some other areas of my parish life. 

I really was struggling to go. The flight was very turbulent. That was not an easy trip. I’ll just leave it at that. I had a middle seat for eight and a half hours. I thought, “This is so uncomfortable. I’m not sleeping. 

We got here, and everything went well. We had Mass the first night. I really think when you’re going through a lot of struggles before you’re going to take a big pilgrimage, God has a lot of good things in store for you. That’s what I had. Just that first day of hearing confessions, celebrating Mass with other priests, those were all blessings, and they continue to be blessings throughout the week. 

One of the great highlights was celebrating Mass on Friday as the main celebrant and preaching. I’d never had that opportunity.

Saturday after celebrating Mass, our guide Miki gets this phone call. Well, it was Ivan the visionary, and I was asked to be a part of the apparition. I was overwhelmed. I just thought, “How did I get chosen of all the priests that are here? Why me?” I was very grateful.

Going to Ivan’s chapel, one of the first things I noticed as I’m walking in, I go, “There’s Jim Caviezel.” 

I said, “Aren’t you Jim Caviezel?” He goes, “No, I’m the bodyguard of him. He’s a bad Catholic.” He was pulling my leg. 

We were getting in the chapel, he and his family were on the other side, I’m with four priests on this side, and he’s going on and on. You could tell he’s a very, very faithful man.

I felt kind of bad for him. I think he’s walked into a lion’s den. He knows acting is his vocation. For anybody that’s trying to live out their faith in Hollywood, it’s got to be tough. So he needs our prayers and support. I think he made some tremendous movies with The Passion of Christ. I would say it’s the best movie on the Passion of Jesus. 

The Rosary begins, and then Ivan walks in at about 6:30. He’s getting his hands out and he’s looking up and he’s smiling. Then at about 6:40, I had an overwhelming sense of the Blessed Mother’s presence.

I did not see her, but I had this overwhelming sense of her presence in there. It was just like “Oh, my word. This is incredible.” It was like you had about three minutes of heaven with you. It was like nothing evil could touch me for that moment. My knees, I was able to kneel for three minutes without any pain. I’ve had two knee surgeries. I didn’t have any pain kneeling. Even my back, which was a little bit messed up from this rear end collision a week ago, I didn’t feel that. 

Ivan is smiling the whole time. He’s looking up, he’s smiling. I’ve got this pull, and I’m just trying to imagine what he’s looking at, what she’s looking like. Then three minutes later, it ended, and then we were walking out.

She talked about “my dear priests” and her love and her peace and that she’s with us. 

I would encourage other priests to come. When I came here, I just wanted to draw closer to Jesus. I wanted to fall more deeply in love with Jesus. That was my goal—to bring healing to my life and come closer to Jesus. I think that’s starting to happen. 

Maybe you’re struggling to get away for ten days. God will open up the door for you to go. If God’s calling you to go, I would say go because you won’t regret it. It’s a very good experience here. 

It was a blessing that I didn’t have any weddings or any baptisms. I knew enough ahead of time that I could clear out ten days from my schedule. God opened the doors for me to come here, and I thought, “How can I say no?” So I said yes. And I’m glad I said yes.

Take our cue from Mary. She said yes to God. And she had a heck of a time. I mean, think about this—young girl, pregnant, unmarried, and what she went through in her time. She consecrated herself as a virgin to God at a young age. She was going to bear God’s son. 

And can you imagine what it must have been like when Simeon said. “A sword is going to pierce your heart,” or what went through her mind during that time? I don’t know. I mean, it’s like, “Oh, what did I say yes to?” But she continued to say yes throughout her life. And that’s why the scriptures say she’s full of grace. She she gave her all. She cooperated completely to God’s grace throughout her live. 

I would say if you haven’t been here and maybe you’re a little bit skeptical, open your heart and mind. Give it a shot. What can you lose? Nothing.

You can gain peace.